Dear MUNY,

The embodiment of everything wonderful in a man.

Please do not EVER add a scene that explains the purposely nebulous relationship between Eliza Doolittle and and Professor Henry Higgins in that timeless play ever again. It is earth-shakingly atrocious to those who are loyal to the genius of George Bernard Shaw.

Disappointedly,

Gagan

we really need to get to milwaukee before 8

My favorite—and incidentally, the most wonderfully intellectual—holiday of the year was ruined last Friday by a horrendous, midwestern steel beast called The Megabus. My 2K8 Independence Day was somehow spent in a shitty white Cavalier with three strangers, desperately hoping to make it to Chicago alive because the illegitimate transportation system proved its illegitimacy by failing to show up. Had these strangers not been incredibly trashy and overweight 19-year-old girls trying to get to Summerfest to see the esteemed Jonas Brothers, I would have been elated at the chance of travelling with people I don’t know. Imagine my five-hour-long amusement/disbelief with them-minimally evident in this excerpt of their conversation:

Trashy 19 year old girl from St. Charles (T.G. #1): Ohmygod I’m so glad we decided not to wait for the bus any longer!

Trashy 19-year old girl from Kansas City who ‘used to go to Mizzou for awhile’ (T.G. # 2): Ohmygod me too! Good thing I didn’t forget my PopStar and J-14 magazines!

T.G. #1: Oh yeah! Read the Jonas Brothers article to me because I need to look at the road. Wait, is there a JB poster in that one?

T.G. #2: (with a corresponding sigh) … no. But i’ll read it anyway. OK, it starts, “The Jo Bros are back-

T.G. #1 and T.G. #2 in unison: OMG I HATE IT WHEN THEY CALL THEM THAT! Hahahaha. Oh you too?!

T.G. #2: Hahaha I’m so glad we met at the Hannah Montana show in Columbia. It was like perfect, wasn’t it?

T.G. #1: Yeah, it really was. So which one is your favorite? I can’t really decide; they’re all just so cute. And cool, because they’re in a band.

T.G. #2: I like Joe Jonas because of his name! Ahhhhh I just looooove him.

T.G. #1: Ohmygod! You’re right! He’s my favorite too. And Nick. And Kevin. Haha! So do you think it’s a good idea for us to listen to Goldfinger for awhile before we put the Jonas Brothers cd on repeat?

…

Needlesstosay, for the first time since its inauguration three years ago, my ID4 tradition of drinking in the daylight hours and watching Yankee Doodle Dandy and 1776 was brutally broken.

woe is neuroses like mine

I have such a conciliatory existence that I consistently agonize over whether or not I should bother the person behind me by adjusting the seat to a more reclined position in airplanes, trains, etc. Agonize. I think Woody Allen temporarily entered the portal to my brain last night and fucked with all the synapses in what he probaby thought was a fun little game of “Being Me” The result was a ten-minute internal deliberation as to whether it was okay for me to recline my seat a little and if I was to recline the seat, whether the appropriate time to do so had passed. It concluded with the seat remaining upright.

Thanks for that, Woody.